and now, a special guest rant from noa "i am enraged" rosen: the road to hell is paved wit

Senator Flake just articulated what over 66 million of us have been saying since long before November of last year. Yes, our democracy is in peril. Yes, Trump is big and Trump is bad. Yes, the sky is blue, and yes, Einstein loved math. Now, Flake expects a pat on the back, a cookie, and to be remembered as a voice of reason during this crazy time. "Please, history book writers," he pleads, "Let the fact that I didn't vote for Trump show that I was one of the good guys. I didn't actually use my position to stop anyone from unraveling everything this nation holds dear, but at least I didn't vote for him." Poof! He is a good guy. Have fun with your retirement and clear conscience, Mr. Flake!

Give me a fucking break. Given that we STILL don't know who Flake actually voted FOR, it's safe to say that he probably voted for Harambe.

Flake hasn’t always been such a staunch defender of our country’s sacred institutions. Remember that time he only thought Merrick Garland should be confirmed because he thought Trump would lose, not because the refusal to consider Garland was an outrageous blight to democratic tradition? Call him the Democracy Doctor. His grand exit is a most despicable kind of ass-covering, mixed with a healthy dose of martyrdom. How dare he use Abraham Lincoln's words about unity to assuage his guilty, guilty soul.

Oh, what was that? FiveThirtyEight tells me that this newly minted hero votes with Trump 90 FUCKING PERCENT OF THE TIME, so I'm not sure which part of the "new normal" he's actually opposed to (except for sending more aid to hurricane stricken Houston and Puerto Rico. He is opposed to that). Where is the actual rebellion? How is he putting his words into action, rather than complaining that he’s uncomfortable with how things are being run? He voted for every single repeal of Obamacare, including the one that was written behind closed doors, by a select few members intent on having a very exclusive Grand Old Secret Policy Writing Party. Couldn’t he have voted against this utterly anti-democratic attempt at forcing policy through, regardless of his stance on government-funded healthcare? In approving the entire slew of swamp monsters appointed to Trump's cabinet, he essentially handed the reins to people hell-bent on dismantling every program that serves the public. Liberals, if you were getting ready to backslap and high-five this guy, you might want to think it over some more. Cheering him on for supporting sanctions on Russia, one of the only positions he takes against Trump by vote, is tantamount to congratulating your mother for not giving all your possessions away to the bully at school while he punches you in the face. Well. Done.

It's nice that instead of continuing to speak out and actually using his position of power, he's stepping down like a gentleman to avoid the spectacle of "losing," while paving the way for Bannon-endorsed Kelli Ward to help us speed up our jaunty jog down the path to autocratic Armageddon. Wow, he's just so NICE. Such a GOOD GUY.

Maybe he's written a good explanation of his policy preferences in his new book, but frankly I'd rather spend the money on my nuclear war survival kit and a gas mask, thanks to this hapless "no, stop, don't!" routine.

Don't let his eye-color-tie-color coordination fool you. Jeff Flake sucks.

I'm happy he wrote a nice book on the wicked Trump and how corrupt the Republican party has become. Will he keep the proceeds for himself so he can enjoy his nice retirement, or will he donate them to the ACLU so they can continue to do his fucking job for him? He should consider it. Maybe that way he'll be able to fully indulge his senior senator-itis.

I'm sorry (not sorry) but a garbage human who writes well and makes the bestseller list is still a garbage human. Words are nice and can be powerful. They make me feel powerful, as a 24-year-old office assistant who has lots of opinions and only Democratic senators and some friends with a website to listen to them. But you know what else is powerful? A seat in the fucking Senate.

I don't want to hear your hero's speech, Senator Flake. As you run off into the sunset, the American people deserve an apology instead.

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Noa usually only drops an f-bomb when she almost gets run over by a biker, but when in Rome, you know? She sang Jewish a cappella with Sarah and Hayley at Tufts and now lives in Brooklyn, where she considers herself an expert at analyzing tattoos on the L train. ​