a very mueller sing-a-long!

Carols in the streets, merriment in the air, the smell of fresh cut pine and sugar cookies--all signs that this will be a VERY merry indictment day indeed!

These confusing, exciting times call for eggnog, cheer, over-simplification of the Russia Investigation, and, of course, music!

Let’s all sing along!

On the first count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

Manafort and Gates conspiring against the United States by acting as unregistered agents of the Ukrainian Government and collecting tens of millions of dollars that were hidden from authorities and laundered through foreign accounts, withholding information illegally from the Department of Justice and the Treasuryyyyyy.

On the second count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

Conspiracy to launder money to cover up their scheeeeeeme.

On the third count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

The dynamic duo failing to to file reports of foreign bank and financial accounts for from 2011 to twenty fourteennnnnn.

On the fourth count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

Failing to file an FBAR with the Department of Treasury, unlawfully, willfully, and knowinglyyyyyy.

On the fifth count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (and other corrupt thingsssss)

On the sixth count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

Violating a law re. Counts 3-5 involving more than $100,000 in a 12-month period as part of pattern of illegal activityyyyyy.

On the seventh through ninth counts of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

In 2011-2013, Manafort and Gates not reporting foreign bank and financial accounts used to buy lots of goods, foods, and propertyyyyy.

On the tenth count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

Manafort not registering as an agent of a foreign principal as a consultant through his business, DMP.

On the eleventh count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

False and misleading statements and withholding information, which is why there was an early morning raid of Manafort’s residencyyyyyyy.

On the twelfth count of indictment my Mueller gave to me,

False statements, in a flagrant display of disrespect for norms of democracyyyyy!

HAPPY INDICTMENT DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE!!