2017 YEAR IN REVIEW
by sarah gruen
Welcome to Sarah Gruen's highly subjective, barely comprehensive 2017 year in review! When I was a freshperson in college, I learned about the cathartic activity of sharing roses and thorns, dumps and dumplings, highs and lows. Now that I'm an angsty liberal 20-something, I choose to share "fuck yeahs" and "are you fucking kidding mes," the latter of which is the inspiration for this blog! While the world seemed pretty terrible this year, this allowed me to remember that 2017 was also filled with good movies and Melissa McCarthy in a toupee. Pro-tip: this piece makes for great bathroom reading! Now, assume poop position, pull out your phone, and get reminiscing!
JANUARY
the FUCK YEAH! moments
women's march
As if the women of the world were chalkily delicious, not particularly nutritious, acid-fighting Tums and the Trump administration was a crippling case of heartburn. The metaphor barely holds, but this was a wonderful day!
travel ban protests
...and the federal judge that temporarily halted the ban. I also think event was a turning point in convincing me that I want to be a lawyer, meaning this was a good day for my law-school-pushing grandparents.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
inauguration
One of the worst days of American history, and there are a lot of really bad days in American history. I think the inauguration, which was capped by Kellyanne Conway declaring that Sean Spicer’s lies about crowd size were simply “alternative facts,” was a pretty accurate pretty accurate picture of what was to come. As Dave and Jenn Gruen’s pal Dan Rather said, “These are not normal times. These are extraordinary times. And extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. When you have a spokesperson for the president of the United States wrap up a lie in the Orwellian phrase "alternative facts".... When you have a press secretary in his first appearance before the White House reporters threaten, bully, lie, and then walk out of the briefing room without the cojones to answer a single question...Facts and the truth are not partisan. They are the bedrock of our democracy. And you are either with them, with us, with our Constitution, our history, and the future of our nation, or you are against it. Everyone must answer that question.” Ugh. He’s so freaking smart.
muslim ban
In case we were worried that Trump wouldn’t make good on his promise to be xenophobe in chief. Special thanks to vice xenophobe Steve Bannon for this trash heap of an executive order.
paul ryan
I don’t really know which month to put Paul Ryan in, so we’ll throw him here. When he isn’t cutting taxes for corporations and attempting to strip healthcare from millions of sick children, he enjoys long walks to the Oval Office, where he coddles and enables the accused-pedophile-supporting racist-in-chief, Donald Trump. Hobbies include admiring jellyfish and other spineless creatures, repealing abortion protections, and pretending to be a moral human.
mitch mcconnell
Why not talk about Mitch as well? Mitch McConnell is often characterized as a turtle. Turtles are cute, slow creatures who feed on lettuce at children’s birthday parties. Mitch McConnell does not eat lettuce, but rather the dreams of lower-income Americans trying to provide for their children. He does not condemn racists and backpedals on condemning rapists. Cool.
barack leaves office
I miss him and will never stop missing him. Or Michelle. Or Sunny or Bo.
FEBRUARY
the FUCK YEAH! moments
big little lies
I binge watched this show in a day, and it was one of the better decisions I made this year. I’d like to think I’m a Madeline or a Chloe, but let’s be honest, I’m 100% a Renata
melissa mccarthy as sean spicer
Melissa McCarthy was the only good thing about Sean Spicer’s tenure. I also love the fact that when asked how long it takes her to Spicer costume, Melissa honestly answered that it did not take long at all. It makes me feel less self conscious about my theory that if I cut off all my hair, I would look a less attractive Sasha Baron Cohen.
moonlight wins the oscar
According to Wikipedia, “Moonlight became the first film with an all-black cast, the first LGBT film, and the second lowest-grossing film domestically (behind The Hurt Locker) to win the Oscar for Best Picture. The film's editor, Joi McMillon, became the first black woman to be nominated for an editing Oscar (alongside co-editor Nat Sanders), and Ali became the first Muslim to win an acting Oscar.” This is dope. Also, the La La Land mix up was DRAMATIC, and I love drama.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
trump lifts transgender bathroom guidelines
Because of course he did. Even Betsy DeVos--incompetent, money-making, public school-hating Betsy DeVos--thought this was a bad idea.
dakota pipeline project given the go ahead
Because who needs clean water or air, or their land protected, or general humanity and respect? Why should the government listen to the concerns of the EPA, numerous engineers, and thousands of indigenous people?
MARCH
the FUCK YEAH! moments
repeal and replace failure
March is the beige of months, and Congress’ threat to take away our healthcare did NOT improve things. When AHCA was defeated, it was a MAJOR relief and also a nice reminder that democracy sometimes works, and putting pressure on representatives (calls! emails! texts!) is a sometimes effective method for ensuring we don’t lose something we care about.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
the inst-cident
If you know, you know. And if you don’t know, you will know when you come over to my penthouse for a nice cold meal.
trump wiretap claim
Another day, another false claim about Obama. WELL TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, TRUMP. Spread the rumor, folks: every time Obama smiles, a golden retriever puppy is born.
APRIL
the FUCK YEAH! moments
despacito (it's a good song, okay?!?)
IT IS JUST A REALLY GOOD SONG, OKAY? Wikipedia describes Despacito as a song about a “sexual relationship, performed in a smooth and romantic way.” Because the song is in Spanish and my family does not know what Luis Fonsi is saying, I feel totally fine singing it with my parents and younger siblings in the car (unlike when I try to sing “I Don’t Fuck With You” by Big Sean and am met with horror)
march for science
Confession: Hayley and I were singing co-ed Jewish a cappella on April 22nd and therefore did not attend the March for Science. STILL, always nice to learn that some people still believe in vaccination and climate change and the benefits stem cell research.
sarah's dad ran a marathon
Not even a stomach bug could keep DRG from running the Boston Marathon! Not only did my Instagram from the event get a lot of likes, I got a sweet T-shirt out of it! And I didn’t even have to run! Big win for the Gru Cru.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
gorsuch confirmed
I am still not over Merrick Garland and will never be over Merrick Garland.
MAY
the FUCK YEAH! moments
bob mueller instated
Unfortunate that we need a special counsel to investigate the events that led to the election of the most powerful man in the world, but here we are! At least with Bob Mueller comes all kinds of “it’s Mueller time” jokes. Also indictments and stuff. Like Christmas for liberals!
"covfefe"
Hehe. That happened.
we graduated!
If you’re reading this, you probably already know that we recently graduated from Tufts University. For those unfamiliar with Tufts, it is the 3rd best school on the Red Line. For those familiar with Tufts, PLEASE CONGRATULATE US FOR GETTING A PAPER AND HAVING AN EXCUSE TO ICE OUR MOMS AT 10 FAIRMOUNT.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
fidget spinners
Okay, not only were these little fuckers super annoying, my fingers are too small to properly use them.
james comey fired
TBH, I will never ever forgive our pal JC for what he did to HER, but his firing was still unfortunate. I guess this is a silver lining “are you fucking kidding me?” because a) his testimony was super interesting to watch and b) this may help bring down the Donald.
JUNE
the FUCK YEAH! moments
wonder woman
A strong, beautiful woman saves the world from men. What else is new?
ben platt
Ben Platt was the best thing to happen to 2017. Dear Evan Hansen was the snot fest we all needed. Also this video
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
united states withdrawal from paris climate accord
At the very least, this is really, really embarrassing. We are literally the only country that is not a part of this deal. Fucking Venezuela, Myanmar, and North Korea are more serious about climate change than the US. AND, this is really, really bad for the planet (no shit). WAS TRUMP NOT TERRIFIED BY THOSE AL GORE MOVIES?
bill cosby mistrial
It sometimes feels like every step forward for women’s safety in the workplace is met by five shoves backwards. The results of the Cosby assault trial were five gut punches. What more evidence does one need...
JULY
the FUCK YEAH! moments
skinny repeal failure
John McCain gives a thumbs down, tries to protect his legacy. Obamacare is saved for now; his legacy is not.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
transgender military ban
Look, the US has a pretty terrible history of exploiting marginalized people and using them to win wars (Vietnam comes to mind), so it should be of no surprise that the Trump administration does not give a shit about trans bodies in the military. Yet you’d think that trans people willing to die for their country would be given the same rights and protections as their non-trans fellow service members. You’d think. And yet here we are. Luckily, Trump’s ban keeps losing in court.
AUGUST
the FUCK YEAH! moments
eclipse day
I think the best thing about the eclipse was not the eclipse itself, but the image of hundreds of besuited lawyers standing in the middle of 6th Ave, staring at the sky with doofy-ass glasses. Hierarchies melted away (however briefly) as we passed around eclipse goggles and played “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at 2 PM.
charlottesville protests
This is what democracy looks like.
we went to a wedding!
Took some nice pics, hung with some nice people, wore some nice dresses. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
"fire and fury"
We’re probably going to go to war with North Korea, which is a major bummer for all parties involved. I swear to God, if a FUCKING Tweet is what gets us nuked, I will be displeased.
charlottesville racists (and non-charlottesville racists)
And Trump’s tacit approval of Charlottesville racists. “On both sides. On both sides.”
SEPTEMBER
the FUCK YEAH! moments
colin kaepernick
The first time I’ve ever cared about the NFL ever. Beyonce said it best (as she always does): “Colin took action with no fear of consequence or repercussion, only hope to change the world for the better: to change perception, to change the way we treat each other, especially people of color." And pissing off the POTUS is the icing on the cake.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
all the hurricanes
While the hurricanes were certainly devastating, what is equally upsetting is that the US government is not treating its citizens as humans, LET ALONE citizens. It has been over three months since Maria hit Puerto Rico, and most of the island is still without water or power. People are dying, and the island is still in crisis mode.
daca phased out
My anger is not just at Trump and the Republicans for letting this happen, but at Democrats, as well. Dems could have refused to fund the government unless Republicans agreed to pass protections for the 800,000 DACA individuals whose lives as they know it are in limbo. They did not, and that was idiotic. USE YOUR FUCKING LEVERAGE, DEMOCRATS.
OCTOBER
the FUCK YEAH! moments
#metoo
I don’t know if I would call this a win. The fact that women are systematically harassed and assaulted and discriminated against in workplaces and in classrooms and in relationships is horrifying. But the fact that maybe this movement can bring about change--and particularly change that will help the most vulnerable women--is heartening and inspiring. I just read the NY Times piece about sexual harassment at the Chicago Ford plant, and I hope that we continue to see this kind of reporting re the #MeToo movement along with news about women in media and politics (which are also important stories)
ayfkm
We did a thing! We wrote some stuff. We do accept tips.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
weinstein et al
2017 only reconfirmed my notion that most men are scary and not to be trusted. Hearing about what Weinstein--and O’Reilly and Lauer and Franken and Spacey and Batali and many more--did is shocking, but not surprising. I think that those on college campuses (or recent grads) are so surrounded by a culture of sexual harassment and assault (1/5, people) that to hope for a better statistic in the outside world is just that--a hope.
NOVEMBER
the FUCK YEAH! moments
danica roem, ralph northam, phil murphy, justin fairfax, and many more
I had forgotten what winning feels like, and then election night happened, and I tasted sweet victory again. Not only did the Trump-esque Ed Gillespie lose, but a diverse and inspiring bunch WON! Also, our friend Grant worked in Virginia on the Northam race (and on a bunch of other races) and a Democratic wave swept his counties. GO GRANT!
lady bird
I snuck a giant bag of Skinny Pop and 4 boxes of CVS candy into the theater when I saw Lady Bird. These treats were good; the movie was fucking amazing. WE ARE ALL LADYBIRD BUT ACTUALLY I VERY MUCH RELATE TO JULIE TOO. Wow. I want to see that movie again. I think I will.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
wildfires
California burning sounds like a song tweens would grind to at Bar Mitzvahs. The reality is almost as horrifying. The fires throughout the state looked like a scene from a movie about hell, fitting for a year that has been ever so slightly hellish.
DECEMBER
the FUCK YEAH! moments
alabama special election
Doug Jones winning was the Hanukkah miracle we all needed. Going into 2018 with an alleged child molester as a senator-elect would have been fucking ROUGH. Jones will be a good, democratic senator (my cynicism about how big this win really is aside). Also, 2018 is a real possibility for Dems to take the house and the senate. Huge if true.
cat person
“OMG, have you read Cat Person? You know, that New Yorker story?” “Yes! Did you read that Atlantic piece on it?” “Yeah! Or the Slate piece on the Atlantic piece?” “YES! I also low key loved that Bustle piece on the Slate Piece on the Atlantic Piece.” “Oh, 100%.”
star wars
Plot twist: I like Star Wars.
mindy kaling has a daughter
The only reason I would want to have a child right now is so that they could be best friends with Katherine Kaling.
the ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? moments
death of net neutrality
Congrats, internet companies. I guess Comcast keeping me on hold for 3 hours as I tried to cancel a subscription was only the second worst thing to happen in internet provider atrocious news this year.
all of the mass shootings and none of the legislative action
Every day, 93 people die from gun violence: 32 are murdered. 58 die from suicide. Sometimes, dozens are killed all in the span of a few minutes. Congress’ solution? Do nothing. I honestly think they will continue to do nothing, because mass shootings happen on the regular and nothing has happened.
the fucking tax bill
Winners: corporations, the Trump family, the De Vos family, super rich people. Losers: pretty much everyone else, especially poor people, sick people, and women.